Conversations with my best friend...

I was struck with the thought that I was not alone.

Loneliness was never one of my vices despite being alone, or so I thought. It is said that too much thinking can be dangerous to the thinker, but here was I thinking beyond my usual thought patterns. No blinding light, merely a coming to terms with my better half.

Nathanael as he insists on calling himself presented himself to me in the most unlikely fashion, that of appearing out of nowhere and entering into my life as long, lost friend.

Nathanael knows all there is to know about my past for he insists that he has always been with me, even bringing to mind all that he has achieved for me through his intervention during those momentous decisions that led me into becoming all that I am. Over these last four years our relationship has deepened, to where I trust Nathanael in all matters that relate to my need to live my life according to my plans and not that of another.

My confidence in Nathanael's loving concern for my well being has never been tested beyond my capacity to believe that he is the most loving friend that any human being could hope to live for. For in his love of me I have found all my heart's desire, revealing my love for all who are in need of being loved.

The pragmatic person might well say that friendship has its limitations, when we are asked to sacrifice our perceptions of all that is best for us and for those with whom we interact. Foolishness so often appears in my thoughts, when my best friend asks me to do that which appears so foolish to those of us who are not willing to enact into our life that which is based upon simple faith, rather than the common sense of the most common of men. Love me, or love me not. For Nathanael makes life very clear to me when he asks me to trust him in all matters, not merely those which make sense to me.

The sensible person might well say that the self awareness of the human being is always found masquerading in those foolish thoughts that reveal another side to human life. Yet, in our common purpose it is clear to me that Nathanael is all he appears to be in his willingness to be the best that I can be in all that I attempt to achieve in order to serve the common good.

Sacrifice can reveal an apparent weakness in the capacity of the human being to place the needs of others, before the person who makes the sacrifice for another. I say apparent weakness, despite an ever growing awareness that it is my strength that leads my way into making the sort of decision that has me thinking and acting on behalf of those people who are not always aware of their need for my help. In this strength of character I have found Nathanael my strength, in all that I attempt to do for those who so often reject me for all that I am in being their helping hand.

The measured actions that lead my way into the life of people in need of my practical help, are tailored to fit those whom Nathanael recognises as being worthy of all that is their attempts to live life according to their self defeating plans.

Pride leads its followers astray to where the inevitable result is seen in the aftermath of those choices that are leading the proud into serving all that is their want to be, when choosing to place their wants before the needs of all whom they will exploit and hurt. In facing this reality the weak-hearted will think twice about renewing their efforts to persuade the self-destructive person to consider another path.

Not Nathanael, for my best pal is never intimidated by refusal or wilful disregard for the common well being. In his love is found all that encourages me to keep trying to be the cause of that which might well entice the self possessed person to be more embracing of all that will bring success into focus, not as a return on exploitation of others but as a fulfilment of purpose being rewarded through the wellness that is revealed in the lives of all who share a common willingness to share.

The hungry person hungers after that which will satisfy hunger's need to be satisfied. Hunger matters not how it is brought into satisfaction, for its wantonness is always focused on its immediate demands rather than on addressing the reason for its hunger. The needs of people are never met in addressing the superficial appeal of that which tantalises, but never satisfies. Despite this very present awareness of all that fails, the desperate human being will so often embrace all that is the measure of short lived attention and all that leads to frustration with life's shimmering, passing moments of lifeless passion. Nathanael asks me to focus on the thought that in all human life is found the growth factor necessary to live a happy and fulfilling life. The key that opens the door into a life of purpose filled joy, is only provided to those who choose to be the hands of the one whose guidance will create the key to all that is life in full and rich abundance.

Friendship born in sacrifice of our need to serve a common purpose in sharing all that is our lot to share, will always find its joyousness being revealed in our need to grow into that person who continues to call himself Nathanael, but is in essence the very heart that beats as one with a will to reveal his love and joy at being all that he is to me in being my best friend Nathanael.

Photo Credits:
The images used as background to this article come from stock.xchng the free web photo source – www.sxc.hu
Top photo: Tom de Bruin, Binfield, Berkshire, United Kingdom
Middle photo: Dan Colcer, Brasov, Transilvania, Romania
Bottom photo: Kristen Smith, Beaver Falls, PA USA

Theologos

Nathanael Theologos is the pen name of a Catholic priest and clinical psychologist based in the Mediterranean.

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