We learned overnight of the passing of the brother of Tom Lee, Roderick Vickers, whom Tom has been caring for for some years as he became increasingly frail and needed full-time care. We've had a long relationship with Tom here at Catholica and his disillusion with the Church of his birth led to him embarking on a 30-year study of the origins of Christianity which we subsequently serialised here on Catholica. Many in that nearly 90% congregation who have left today just seem to leave the church without much soul-searching. Many others though go through a long self-examination and the parting only takes place after much deep soul-searching. Today we bring you Tom Lee's story in it's unexpurgated form as he submitted it to Milly back in February this year (2011).

Series Navigation: Introduction | I: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
II: Life is now filled with possibility! | III: A couple of male confessions
IV: A couple of submissions remote from our usual readership
V: Ministry OUTSIDE the Box; LIFE Outside the BOX
VI: Two perspectives from different sides of the Pacific
VII: The disillusion of a Catholic lad from Sydney

Content with private spirituality,
but still hooked by the brazen hypocrisy of many priests...

Poster for Tom Lee's one man stage show "O Papa: a history of the popes in two hours and twenty characters" subsequently adapted from the BBC and CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Commission)

I think the rot set in while I was researching 'O Papa!' my one-man stage show (a history of the popes in two hours and twenty characters), also adapted for BBC & CBC radio, taped at Broadcasting House, London. While I had a great deal of help and advice from some Catholic clerics, there was a great deal more cynical disinterest from the majority, not at all encouraging.

Tom Lee

My brief holiday from 'The Mousetrap' in 1975 was devoted to the world premiere of 'O Papa!' at the Teatro Goldoni in Rome and I was interviewed on Vatican Radio by a young Aussie priest, whose name sadly I've lost — but he was full of healthy zeal and was enthused about Pope John and buoyed me up with several heart-warming stories about him.

Returned to Britain, the first London performance was at Corpus Christi Church in Covent Garden, with box office take donated to the Catholic Stage Guild, and with lighting supplied by the Mousetrap lighting crew. The guest of honour was Cardinal William Baum of Washington DC, who invited me to bring the show to his diocese where he'd created an Institute for the Arts.

Autumn 1976 I arrived in Washington, collected at the airport by Father Michael Farina, director of the Institute, and taken to the home of Colonel John Zalonis, Judge Advocate of the US Army, my accommodation for my visit.

Having quickly contacted friends, Professor Bernard Peebles and Carolyn Lee, librarian of special collections Catholic University, I was receiving first-hand advice and information about those clerics I inevitably came in contact with as locations and times for performances were worked out.

At the end of my first performance at St Patrick's Academy, Father Farina came backstage to tell me that a priest who'd been a church history scholar, but was now a parish priest, would like to take me out to dinner, and he'd take me home to the Colonel's house afterward. He'd brought my business suit from the Colonel's house for me to wear. The priest was dressed in his clericals and we had a pleasant chatty dinner together. Then he reached across the table grabbed my hand and asked, "What sort of club do you like?" I was puzzled, unable to fathom what he meant. He then enlightened me. "I'm a member of a leather club myself. I'd like to take you there on the way home." I was flummoxed that he would take for granted that I was Gay because I was an actor, and really didn't know how to handle it, but as the colonel's home was out in Alexandria and I didn't know how to get there by public transport, I shrugged and went along. Arrived outside the DC Eagle, the priest shucked his clericals to reveal tight jeans and a tank-top, and said I'd better shuck my shirt as only leather and denim were permitted. After some argument with the doorman/bouncer by the priest I was admitted.

Inside I was introduced to four priest-professors from both Catholic University and Georgetown (the Jesuit College), each of them with a boyfriend in tow.

Later in the visit I was invited by the Cardinal to the Columbus Day Mass at the National Shrine, seated in the front pews with a number of wealthy donors, a good many of whom proved later to be Mafia leading lights.

Cardinal William Baum. Still resident in Rome. This photo from dcpages.com. More biographical information at Wikipedia.

The Cardinal was at the time being sent-up in the gossip column of the Washington Post. Pope Paul VI had not long before banished the cappa magna, but Cardinal Baum, appointed after the ban, wore one as often as possible.

I remember the comment went like this: "Cardinal Baum of Washington DC appeared today at such-and-such poor black parish in his eight foot train, accompanied by monsignor so-and-so, the perennial bridesmaid."

Next I was invited to a piano recital by an Italian pianist at the Italian Embassy; he was also an Institute performer staying at the colonel's home. The cardinal turned up in a black velvet Georgian outfit, knee britches and all, not unlike my Voltaire costume in the show. It was no surprise to many when he was summoned to the Vatican and given the Curial job as head of Catholic Education throughout the world. He issued only one document during his curial career and has remained in Rome since his retirement. [See more at ]

Before I left Washington I'd learned that Fr Farina and the Colonel were an affair and had been together for a good many years, but the experience led me to research the early church, leading to "The Invention of Christianity & the Papacy" which Milly and Brian kindly published on Catholica [LINK].

It's been difficult for me to take the Church seriously ever since. I'm content with private spirituality, but still hooked by the brazen hypocrisy of many priests.

I am still a member of the Catholic Stage Guild here in London but rarely attend church, though good liturgical music sometimes attracts me, and makes me feel nostalgic for the warm church of my youth.

Series Navigation: Introduction | I: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
II: Life is now filled with possibility! | III: A couple of male confessions
IV: A couple of submissions remote from our usual readership
V: Ministry OUTSIDE the Box; LIFE Outside the BOX
VI: Two perspectives from different sides of the Pacific
VII: The disillusion of a Catholic lad from Sydney

These stories have been selected and edited by
Amanda McKenna and Brian Coyne, Linden, NSW. 20Sep2011

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©2011Amanda McKenna

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