Discernment...

Let no one charge me with ever having abused or encouraged weakness or surrendered on matters of principle. But I have said, as I say again, that every trifle must not be dignified into a principle. Mahatma Ghandi

In life we come up against lots of issues, problems and petty annoyances. In all of these things we can become overly involved, emotive and develop strong attachments. Most of these issues become divisive in some form or other, whether it is church related or politically motivated, someone somewhere is going to have a different "take" on the issue than you.

But do we always fight for the things that matter or do we focus on the minutiae and the things that don't REALLY matter in the big picture — the overall scheme of things?

In our Church I think sometimes some of us get too worked up over superficial and un-important crap. I know at times I have done so, especially when I became very passionate about liturgy and RCIA. We can find ourselves fighting massive battles over whether some "hymns" should be sung at our liturgy for example. So some of them suck! Does it really matter … or do they just suck because "I" don't personally like them? The hymn Faith of our Fathers can have me moaning in agony as does Sweet Sacrament Divine and those of their ilk and yet others within our community feel moved to their toes by such hymns.

Nostalgia for times past is often mistaken for the desire for meaningful worship. (I have a dearly loved friend that is very traditional and is having all these types of hymns at her funeral … I'm not invited! LOL but she sent me a CD of them so I could listen to them anyway!) I know some of you are thinking "what would she know about music? She's using a Kenny Rogers song to make a point for God's sake!" If it's only nostalgia that makes the hymn move you then it isn't really its meaning, its context or its worship value. But then who am I to judge what others "get out" of such a hymn? And why should they not have access to such within their worship if they feel the need?

Surely these are issues that can be compromised on and not worth getting upset over. There are some hands you can win and some worth winning but there are lots you can't – times when you just have to know when to walk away, and other times run because you aren't going to win and the thing isn't really that important in the first place and the people who will fight to the death over such issues are best avoided.

Personally I hate the Advent wreath; it was there in our Church as I grew up but I never understood the significance of it. I can't remember it ever being explained, as many of our liturgical symbols were not, and to tell you the truth I still don't get "it". It doesn't speak to me. Taking it away in our parish and replacing it with a more appropriate Australian symbol caused a mixed bag of reactions. Some hated it, some loved it, and some said "don't care". So it just shows to go you that you can't please all the people all the time or can you? When we did both, we did exactly that … pleased all the people. Not totally of course, those who wanted the Advent wreath replaced weren't entirely happy, but they got their Australian symbol so they were partially happy. Those that didn't want the "new" were partly happy cos they kept their wreath. Those who didn't care still didn't care. So maybe it is a case of you can't TOTALLY please all the people all the time but you can partly please them all even if you confuse them at the same time.

Is this issue worth dying for?

When we decide to stand up for something that is important to us it is worth asking ourselves HOW important is it? Test it. Is this issue worth dying for? Some of them are. Defence of the vulnerable, the voiceless, the marginalised who have no-one else to speak for them are such issues for me. When I say is it worth dying for I do not necessarily mean would you stand up and be martyred for the cause but also would you fight it to the very end even if this meant the stress and frustration will give you an ulcer, a heart attack, or even cancer, which severe stress can cause and any of which can kill you.

Our Church is one thing I care about...

How many issues are there that you would be ready to die for? Our Church is one of them for me at this point in time. I really find it amusing when people call me a liberal dissident or accuse me of being a femmo-nazi, or indeed of "white-anting" the Church from within. That is not my intention when I question the things I see wrong, and I mean really wrong in our Church, or the things that the Church should be speaking out about and aren't. These names applied to those of us who are of a questioning nature, I think are unfair because I am sincerely passionate about this place I call home. I love it. It is in the very marrow of my bones. Unless things change though, and I still see signs of hope that they are and can, and I trust that the Holy Spirit will do what she wants, when she wants, then I will leave this home as much as I love it. I can't live in it if all it does is cause me pain and slowly drains the "Spiritual" life out of me, but for the moment it's still worth dying for. However a self destructive relationship is one from which you must eventually run or at least walk, very fast, away from.

Things like Clergy sexual abuse bring this beloved faith of ours into disrepute within the public eye, to say nothing about what it does to the victims, their families and those of us in the Church itself. Not so much the abuse, as bad as that was, but the way it has been dealt with is so morally corrupt that it almost drowns out the horror of the actual acts themselves.

The Philadelphia Archdiocese video...

I was extremely moved by watching the live stream video Brian directed us to the other day from Philadelphia Archdiocese. I had read many testimonies of people abused … survivors … but have only ever spoken to 2 women I know who had been abused by Clergy. If any priest reading this board has not watched that video because they don't want to know or if any priest left that room untouched, unmoved by what they had heard they seriously need to question their vocations. The courage of these people to speak their truth in the hopes of bringing healing for others who cannot, is unbelievable, but I can never hear such stories without feeling guilt.

How I revered priests! How I would never have believed such a thing of a man of God! My naiveté and putting priests on pedestals helped foster what happened to these people. How can I not feel guilt? How can I not, now, stand alongside them in solidarity and speak up or at the very least "hear" their stories if that's what they need. There was 'once upon a time' when I thought a priest would never lie. If they said something happened then it did. I now find myself at the complete opposite of the spectrum. I take all of what they say into a questioning heart and in the words of the Kenny Roger's song, "Ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin' Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep."

Discerning what to throw away and what to keep...

We need to decide which of the things in our faith are important and we need to know what to throw away, anything that isn't life giving should be ditched. That which speaks "Truth" to us, those things that expand us, help us grow and love more is knowing what to keep.

There are some things that are worth getting hot under the collar about. Many in fact, but there are a lot that aren't. They don't make a difference to our faith or the lived reality of our lives. Things like Marian devotion or dogmas really don't affect my faith one way or the other. Don't get me wrong I have a strong attachment to Jesus' mother. 'There's something about Mary' that is worth keeping and worth modelling our humanity on, (thanks to Ninja for recommending Fr Tissa Balasuriya's writings on Mary, I have read much ABOUT this man but not his stuff … it will be on order and I hope to find a Mary there I can relate to) there are others the Church has made more of than was necessary but in the big scheme of my life they are unimportant. I can give them assent for that very reason. Giving my assent doesn't mean I really believe it … it's just that if, for somebody else, it's worth dying for and it isn't to me then I think they should have it their way.

I will stand up to "die" for the things I think matter. Things like violence and sexual abuse of anyone, oppression of women, environmental vandalism, refugees, unjust wars, killing of innocents, death penalty, political issues such as unfair IR laws that are going to make life harder for the little people, discrimination against gays, to name just a few. The ones who got dealt a shitty hand in other words. I'll give them all my aces if I can. I do this in the belief that these things that touch my heart are the things the Spirit is calling me to do. I could be wrong but that's not really something I can judge, I have to discern as best I can as hectic life goes on around me, and there will always be plenty of new issues to raise a sweat over, and if the results I see are less than immediately gratifying I can't just give up … sometimes you have to step back to take a step forward and "you never count your money while your sittin' at the table, there's time enough for countin' when the dealin's done".

KateD

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