In the midst of the current meltdown the institution seems to be going through, Tom McMahon, argues that there is life outside the institution. The institution and priesthood as we've known it for so long might be crumbling but Jesus is still with us. When we near the home run of our lives we begin to appreciate what is really important.

Avoiding cultural violence...

The other day I found my eyes tiring as I continued on the computer and this after some long hours of reading; I followed advice offered by Professor Francis B. Colivita, University of Pittsburgh in one of his Great Courses Lectures [LINK] SENSATION, PERCEPTION, and THE AGING PROCESS.

For tired eyes the professor advises going outside and looking afar distance toward the mountains and I did just that, finding healthy relaxation of my eyes. My encouragement to those who have focused on institutional church problems is to follow the same strategy and daily take a good long healthy look at global vastness and the massive population that now makes up the human race. In reality life at large is much greater than the Roman institution.

A careful selection on TV helps me visualize the beauty of life and all creation, especially the wide variety of cultures and peoples. People are beautiful and I am tired of hearing about their ugliness. I long have forgotten my negative early training in original sin with all that mortal and venial nonsense. Genesis has good advice when it tells me that God created male and female, and God said they were good. A genuine Jesus and his beatitudes rarely makes the front page. Daily I hope for a realistic balance between violence and goodness, both are real experiences in this vast world. Yes, I know that America has been at war in Iraq and Afghanistan for 8 years and I cannot avoid the tragedies of Haiti and starvation in Darfur but for sanity's sake I need, and seek, the creative and positive. I can at my age as my body begins to betray me fall victim to a darkness that often is common talk. In therapy for aging minds positives are necessary for mental good health.

My e-mail inbox is full of reports about Pope Benedict possibly being involved in a sex scandal abuse when he was archbishop of Munich. The Vatican blames the press and a child like dodge ball game of denial piles into my computer. After an amateur study of clerical abuse for 30 years two years ago I began to delete most of the anecdotal clerical abuse reports, personally convinced that a deep global conspiracy protected the image of the priest in spite of the myriad of reports that daily clutter the internet. The priest is drowning in bad press. I remind myself that it is about 4% of the Roman clergy that are in serious trouble, yet when it reaches into high clerical office I struggle.

My seminary, St. Patrick's Menlo Park, Ca. has banners along its driveways touting THE YEAR OF THE PRIEST and I wonder as I go there if anyone sees them outside of students and faculty? A pious woman recently remarked to me concerning a new priest in her parish: "I hope to God he is not gay and a pedophile." Surely there is a great need of re-imaging the clergy for the Catholic people, I doubt if hanging banners on the grounds of the monastic seminary will do the job. I wonder what people are really thinking? There are times I sense attempts at a new image are futile.

One who has been following my recent commentaries might discern a deep sense of my mourning. I am well aware of this natural sadness as I miss what was once great value for me. The loss of my father in 1931 is fundamentally present yet I was fortunate to have a mother who was a valiant woman of great hope and renewal. An overlay had crept in during my active years in ministry that was capped in 1980 when I departed the Community of Christ Our Lord and Brother in New Almaden, leaving behind a dream that the institutional Roman church could awaken from its medieval slumber and come alive for the good of its people and the world by implementing the vision of John the 23rd as expressed by Vatican Two. I have mourned the death of my childhood church for 30 years, buoyed by the hope and action of the Community of Jesus Our Brother which in 2010 after three decades of spiritual vitality is being broken on the anvil of physical death and mental illnesses that accompany old age.

Yet, Jesus comes...

Year of the Priests banner Website: www. annussacerdotalis. org

Every morning I face the challenge of hope and meaningfulness of life as I watch time ravage our membership and lay waste to beautiful people who have shared with me a Jesus' spirit. We continue to gather, aware that where once there were 35 we now number 5 and 6, a grim reminder of our on-coming fate. Yet Jesus comes, always willing to be present where two or three gather in his name, and we support one another in our physical weakness. I legitimately mourn along with my brother Jesus as we share together the Lazarus mystery; what is the meaning of the Lazarus story?

What interests me is the historical Jesus is there in the midst of human loss and suffering. One of the sustaining boasts that I continue to stand by is that we care for one another in spite of the burden of illness. Philosopher-historian Page Smith warns never to love someone who will leave you; we defy his warning, constantly aware that this is the Gospel story of a Jesus who was torn from his people by cruel human power but constantly returns to us with a life giving spirit. I believe in Jesus risen from the dead and alive in communities of faith. I believe that God and life are good!

I mourn the death of Jesus, my childhood church and my early priesthood, my father and my mother, and friends dear to me; I miss them all.

There is a painful violence in my remembering them and their departure yet there is a soothing balm of peace as I relish the joys of our relationships and see my past as a gift of life, so enhanced by a Christian Spirit that has been passed to me through many channels. The tide of my life is fast ebbing and I have no regrets. I have passed through the stages of anger with and vengeance on those who have opposed me in my following of a Holy Spirit. I shall write more on this in commentary #4. We shall examine Tom's version where life and especially death within my church went wrong.

In my 81 years I have been witness to endless wars where people are robbed of their right to life and the pursuit of happiness by misguided humans who wish to pile up wealth and possessions with no alertness to that personal moment of death departure that awaits each one of us. The day will come for generals when they will fade away and no more soldiers will hear their death-dealing commands; a people-distant bishop will not know how few will attend his funeral and that his cathedral has become a tourist attraction; all men and women of abusive power will be but distant memories in some unopened history book. I'm with Pablo Gonzalez who said "in the end it is all in how many smiles you shared". Jesus will continue to be known down through the ages, not because they say he was divine but for the simple reason he taught us by his example to love one another and to be a people of peace.

Tom the old man in San Jose without a title or a calling card, reminiscing and at peace with God, myself, and a goodly number of others. Now off to my model train set as the grand children are coming tomorrow. (12/03/2010)

©2010 Tom McMahon

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