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Post Script: A call to the Church to deal with human sexuality honestly

Post Script to the Series on Priesthood
“It's so lonely on the fields of Athenry”
A call to the Church to deal with human sexuality honestly

Tom McMahon's introduction: Brian, in searching my archives I found the following; note the date 3/9/99. You may want to add it to the priesthood series, like a P.S. Nine years have passed and still silence remains; I could write the same piece today and maybe five years from now…

A call to the Church to deal with human sexuality honestly…

I'm 70, a priest veteran of more than a quarter century in the old pre-Vatican two Catholic confessional system, a dedicated celibate for thirty years of my adult life, a fatherless child who entered seminary at 13 and spent 12 years in monastic training that covered the years of my physical maturing and a now well-trained socially alert licensed counselor, married and father of two young men. I am a family systems therapist; in '68 a woman gave me a wooden sandpiper, a shore bird that examines footprints in the sand. I study people and particularly Catholic priests, examining their human expressions.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fields_of_Athenry

Irish tenor Frank Paterson sings the lovely song "It's so lonely in the fields of Athenry"; in it I hear the echoes of my celibate past and I ask "why that place?", referring to the east bay priest who was arrested last Friday in a regional park lavatory "on suspicion of performing a lewd act". Dick Sipe, author of A Secret World, Sexuality and the Search for Celibacy complimented me in the presence of five experts at Santa Clara University when he said publicly "this guy knows more about clergy abuse than all of us put together". I deny this; I have a plus forty year back log of intimate knowledge about men with whom I have shared ministry. My own sexual/genital odyssey is my best source. In the terrible secrecy that surrounds sex and the Catholic priest. I qualify as a self-educated veteran.

First some humor! At lunch in the McMahon home classmates and clerical peers talked about the arrest. With a combined knowledge of 180 years of ministerial awareness we know better than to generalize about Catholic priests — each has his own tale of innocence since the day we began training and ordination. Humorously Tom Burns, a navy medic in World War Two, stood facing the wall with his hands held high stating that henceforth at Candlestick Park's public urinals all men must keeps hands in proper position to satisfy the moral code enforcers; one of the best kept secrets of us old men is that we do not empty our bladders totally without help. There are human issues involved and yet the question remains "why this place?" and the whole is covered with Elizabethan secrecy. My heart aches for those who search for sexual/genital understanding in public places.

Confession of a priest curious about the female body and its power…

I recall in 1960 sitting in my car, watching from a distant road an outdoor sexy movie showing at a South San Francisco drive-in; I was 31 years old, sexually ignorant, and desperate to find out more about the great mystery of creation. I was curious about the female body and its power. I was the moderator of a teen club of 120 beautiful kids and I was no more sexually educated than they. My search in the fields of Athenry was lonely and terribly inadequate. I was a victim of a prudish system that had made sex an evil. I would go on to a better maturity during a fifteen year education in the human body and its psychological wonderment, totally outside the roman system. I would team up with two women who became sources of my growth and human development; one a psyche nurse with whom I trained, the other my wife of nearly twenty-five years. The secrecy that impounded my mind since childhood exploded into meaninglessness as I explored human nature as Our Creator had designed it. The secrecy that surrounds the Catholic priest and his sexuality is not of God; it is anti-nature and terribly harmful. There is no reason for image-protecting secrecy, continuing to promote Fourth Century cult aberrations of nature and sexuality; old men in episcopal robes, with wizened genitals, are poor models for young men who seek to discover their God-given masculinity. Expert psychologists, clerical or not, will never know our dark secrets without open dialogue. Few clerics have a healthy sexual self image. The day of "the good priest is a celibate priest" is gone. The creaking door has been creaking loudly in the late 20th century and so far only the Shadow knows what lurks in the hearts of men.

In the name of the God of creation and for the sake of credibility I encourage open dialogue on the issue of clerical immaturity, the impoverished methods opened to roman clerics for adult growth, and the cessation of using moral judgments (sin etc.) on some men who perhaps are emotionally ill and immature. The search field is so limited, the fields of Athenry … The story is told (it's true) of a meeting back east, a dozen bishops, a few women and men; a woman tells a bishop "after all, Bishop, you are a man". He slams the desk and shouts back "I am not a man; I am a bishop!".

Do priests masturbate?

Before the men in the white suits arrive to take us all away I encourage openness. Open the dialogue behind doors closed to the press. Explore frustration, anger, poor self-image, imposed celibacy, and masturbation. Examine openly the beauty of the female, the early century myths of virginity, and the mystery of God's call to propagate; one fights a God of creation by imposing celibacy. Talk to priests who have married; my experience with my clerical peers is a discovering of maturity, sensitivity, and a readiness to address sexual/genital problems. When I was on the KRON TV show "People are Talking" host Ross McGowan asked me, live: "Do priests masturbate?". People are curious, politely silent, yet deeply interested in the sex issues of the clergy.

I understand that the Roman Church in Australia used this open-to-clerical-truth approach, much to the betterment of an unhealthy human condition, pedophilia. I am sensitive to my readers as I write this piece; I cry as I look back over the men involved in tragedies of clerical sexual abuse. I resent lumping together priests who have married and priests who have been arrested. I am aware that the uppermost criterion for a priest to continue his work in ministry is insurability; a priest is allowed to work only when the insurance company has evidence that he has not gone sexually bananaboat. What a gamble! A great way to maintain the interiorization of the mystery unto one's self. What a tinder box awaiting disaster for some who continue to wear clerical collars? Where the faith element of the priests enters I do not know? Like the wizard of Oz the myth of the sexless priest has been exposed; yet, only the surface has been scratched. Power once attributed to bodiless clerics no longer holds sway. The people of God have learned to be earthy. They know what loneliness is and the price paid when a human being is isolated. People know they are sexual creatures; with Ireland's Bishop Casey the people were understanding of his fathering a child, yet intolerant of his renouncing responsibility to raise the boy.

I am reading John O'Donohue's ETERNAL ECHOES, Exploring our yearning to belong. As a young priest I did not belong to this world. Heaven was my only reality, yet I was uneasy as I matured and Vatican Two offered insight into life as a gift of our Creator and my earthly belonging. I began my journey to belong to the human race, as did Jesus; I see problems in men today who don't know where they belong and the Roman system of moving priests and never allowing them to be genuinely part of a community is pathological. A person who does not belong is in a dangerous place. I would search then for his hidden anger and the expressions he uses to release it. I would seek remedies for his loneliness.

I am not afraid to challenge the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church to come out of their ivory towers and deal with reality. Dark secrecy is killing you, costing credibility and a bundle financially! … Some may say "McMahon is at it again, angry, belligerent toward bishops". Yes, I am and I challenge you bishops, John in Oakland, Pierre and PJ in San Jose, John Quinn in exile, Rich Garcia in Sacramento, and Frank Quinn, and Carlos in Yakima to speak up to Rome; what have you got to lose except more of the people of God?

Rome's interest is money and pseudo-power over the people, not truth. Look at the courage of [Bishop] Tom Gumbelton, AB Weakland and Frank Murphy of Baltimore! The silence of bishops is creating two churches in America and many of your priests are torn; morale is down and with many priests physical and emotional health is a serious concern. I get calls from active priests telling me to keep up the yelling for if they say it they risk their pensions and health insurance … the young Irishman in the song "Athenry" is arrested and exiled to the penal colonies of Australia accused of stealing corn to feed his family. Exile by inhuman law would be condemned by Jesus Christ and, if you bishops are supposed followers and teachers of the Man, in justice speak up for your priests who struggle with their exile from the human race.

Tom McMahon in San Jose, like Isaiah, in genuineness creaking the door a bit and wondering if we need to continue the loneliness of the fields of Athenry. 09/03/1999

PPS. A comparison between the American Civil War and present Church: Slavery was a major issue for the country in 1862 and in 1998 the lack of freedom for priests to live life fully silently dominates essential matters of faith. Lincoln fired McClellon because he never fought and brought in Grant whose war memos were filled with action verbs and very little head tripping concepts. The Army of the Potomac was a statistic viewed on paper before Grant brought it into battle. The continued scholastic conceptual evasion of the issues of human sexuality have no place in today's society; today mature people can talk openly about the mystery of creation and women have much to offer. Vatican Two called us in the world and the world is flesh and feelings, emotions, and concepts. Work is required to appreciate a sound combination. Is it not Iraneus who said "The glory of God is man fully alive"?

ARTICLE NAVIGATION: You are presently looking at the Post Script
PREV
PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII
PART VIII | PART IX | PART X | PART XI | PART XII | PART XIII | PART XIV | PART XV
Post Script: A call to the Church to deal with human sexuality honestly

Tom McMahon, a former priest now married, lives a very fulfilled life in San Jose and continues to contribute voraciously to several Catholic discussion lists in the States. He has been an enthusiastic supporter and encourager of the Catholica Australia initiative from the very beginning.

What are your thoughts on this commentary by Tom McMahon? You can contribute to the discussion in our forum.

©2008 Tom McMahon

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