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Catholica Commentary by Cliff Baxter – An excuse for a Guiness
FATHER FARZENHEIM of the FATHER OF DIVINE WRATH...

Fr Farzenheim returns on a wing and a prayer!

Good morning. I am Father Farzenheim of the Fathers of Divine Wrath. It is good to see that some of you are still present as a Divine Remnant of those here since before I took my sabbatical in Rome.

Let me assure you at the outset: "Small is BEAUTIFUL!" Small congregations, worthy of Divine Wrath, that's our objective, as I have been trying to persuade the Holy Father. Better to have a small bunch of people on their knees and begging for contrition and mercy than a large group of happy-slappy, huggy-wuggy, cuddly-wuggly, touchy-feely, cafeteria Christians promoting false doctrines of Joy. The heresy of the joy-seekers has permeated all levels of Holy Mother Church and it needs to be cauterised and burned out like the cultural and catholic cancer that it truly is.

We need to recover our heritage. We need to remember heroes and heroines of the past like John the Miserable, Paula the Painful, Demeter of Holy Depression and Michael Mandaciousopoulos –Hammer of the Joyful.

We need to confront the Lovely Lollards of our time, and their Kumbaya Liturgy, their huggy-wuggy signs of Peace. They are the successors of Wycliff and Tyndale who placed the ugly English biblical "translations" — I use the term loosely, ha, ha — into the hands of those better skilled at the plow (as they themselves admitted) than at piety, psalms and prayer books.

Dark days are coming…

Gone was the lovely mystery associated with the priest speaking inaudibly in Latin while the humble Faithful watched in trepidation, awe, and faithful Fear of Coming Divine Wrath. Wrath! Yes, Wrath! Dark Days are coming, take my word for it.

Do not be fooled into thinking that the coming World Youth Day is going to be any happy-slappy occasion. Nosirreebob! I want to see thousands of young penitents from all corners of the globe on their knees trembling in the Face of Wrath!

I do not want to see a lot of dopey, smiley-wiley faces looking up at the face of the Holy Father. I want to see them trembling as they watch the pope's back as he engages in the divine mysteries that he, and I are ordained to practise in the holy and secret language of Latin. Deus ex Machina!

In the country of my birth in the olden times we had many such rallies before things got out of hand. This was regrettable, but let me assure you we had the Bolshevik Jews on the run! Today I want to see Divine Wrath cast holy terror into the hearts and minds of our enemies, the dissidents.

I want these young, muscular Christians to track them down and expose them in their crimes. If some of these dissidents are their parents or teachers, so be it! They need to be unmasked by the Divine Wrath Youth Movement. How can this be done? I hear you asking yourselves.

A capital idea to tame these liberals, dissidents and backsliders…

A Winged Wrath, Divine Detector of Dissidents! I call him Michael the Magisterial Moth.Well, this morning I was astonished to read in that notoriously Protestant publication The Sydney Morning Herald, that scientists in the United States have now been able to insert microchips into the larvae of moths. The moths can fly under direction of antiterrorist authorities into the homes and headquarters of the bad guys. Micro-aircraft based on moth aerodynamics will also be used as monitoring devices. Both the moths and the devices will carry miniature cameras and audiovisual devices. Bees are also being equipped.

A capital idea, I must say! I have approached the Cardinal with the suggestion that a Biblical Bogong be developed. Larvae can be implanted in the pages of publications in so-called "catholic" bookshops. The Bogong Moth, under the direction of the Archdiocese, will be able to track down not only the sources of heresy, but explore the homes of so-called "conscience" catholics for signs of dereliction to the Magisterium. Come to think of it, a Magisterium Moth would be a great name!

I have a Bogong Moth here for your examination in this matchbox. He's quite different from the mindless creatures round your TV and lights at night this Spring. He's on the job! He's relentless! A Winged Wrath, Divine Detector of Dissidents! I call him Michael the Magisterial Moth. May many of his companions be visiting a home near you quite soon, on a wing and a prayer.

May the Wrath be with you!

Fr FarzenheimFr Farzenheim is another of our occasional visitors to Catholica Australia venting his anger on the Novus Ordo Church. Resident in the Archdiocese of Sydney, Fr Farzenheim is a great fan of the reform of the reforms that Cardinal Pell has endeavoured to introduce in his diocese but he just doesn't believe they go half-way far enough. Half the time he thinks the Cardinal is a bit of a pinko. He is a member of the Fathers of Divine Wrath religious order based in Chicago who have recently been invited to Sydney to help address the priest shortage here and the slackness being exhibited by all the "cafeteria Catholics" and "backsliders" in the Australian Church. He does support the Cardinal's call for this "confusing teaching" on Primacy of Conscience to be abolished from the Catechism and all Catholic teaching. Fr Farzenheim welcomes your questions on all matters of Catholic doctrine provided they are addressed to him in reverential tones beginning "Dear Fr Farzenheim". He will not answer any questions when he is addressed by his Christian name. He is still deciding if we can be trusted enough to even know his Christian name and might disclose that in a later column down the track. You are most welcome to address your questions to him through our forum.

We welcome your thoughts in response to this article in our forum.

Cliff Baxter can be contacted at: Cliff Baxter <cliffbaxter@catholica.com.au> Please Note: You need to remove the "NOSPAM" words at the beginning of the email address before sending the email

©2007 Clifford Baxter

[Cliff's Menagerie Archive]

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