FR FARZENHEIM'S LITTLE PASTORAL CHAT...

What's going on down there...

Good morning to you all, Few but Fiery Faithful!

I am Father Farzenheim of the Fathers of Divine Wrath.

I hope that you are as aware as I am of God's Anger towards us as we teeter on the Brink of Eternity.

Eighty-five per cent may have rushed like Gadarene Swine to heretical, pathetic refuges like www.catholica.com.au, that Jonestown, that sink of iniquity, den of dissidence, mine of anti-magisterium, excreta in extremis, and Place of Sinners.

But you, dear people, are the Fiery Few who can keep alive God's Wrath!

You are the Fiery Fifteen Per Cent!

What of the others, those back-sliders, limp-wristed nancies poncing around or feeding their CAFFEINE ADDICTION with café latte?

You know what? They think they have a Smiling God, all touchy feely, lovey dovey, honey bunny, cuddly muddly, gooey fooey.

What a shock lies in store for them in Eternity!

As I have stated before, the God of Wrath will say to them, "You were not afraid before, were you? Bet you are sorry and frightened of my Wrath now. Eh, eh, eh? Feeling scared now. Eh, eh, eh? Feel the Wrath?"

I have spoken of the Wonders of Wrath before, but I have not mentioned its health-giving properties.

God in His Infinite Wisdom has given us Adrenal Glands.

These as you probably know are responsible for the Fight or Flight bodily responses to a situation.

I know that you are on my side, Fiery Fifteen, not for Flight to the dens of Heresy like Catholica, but to FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

I can give personal testimony that my Excellent Physical Health can be traced to the Maintenance of Holy Wrath.

When at one stage of my career they locked me away and came to me daily, sometimes hourly, giving me all of that lovey-dovey stuff, I survived because of my faithful fearing acceptance of God's anger.

He made us, and He's going to get us! He's going to GET US WHEN WE LEAST EXPECT IT!

I notice that a new Archbishop has come out with some more of that lovey-dovey stuff and weak-kneed rubbish to appease the Dissidents.

He says some people say that the Church is in a process of terminal decline, but we should not worry about that!

Not worry? If God did not want us to worry, then He would not have created us.

Dear people, dear Fiery Fifteen Per Cent, it is only through Worry that we shall climb the Divine Mountain, and find the Fiery throne upon which is seated the God of Wrath.

Only through Emulation of God's Anger against Dissidents and Back-Sliders will we find Salvation.

I notice that the same Archbishop goes on to say that the Catholic Church in Australia is like the ageing Elizabeth, pregnant against the odds, and something is stirring in the old, seemingly barren womb of Mother Church.

As I look around me today I see many old women.

How would you feel if you discovered you were pregnant again?

Bit of a shock, eh?

Perhaps God might be ANGRY with you over how you performed last time?

Bit of a failure, were you? Made God furious, perhaps? Engendered his Wrath? Then, dear people, you have to endure his Punishment! You do the crime, you do the time.

Pregnancy, of course, can be traced back to that Woman of Sin, Eve.

I can just imagine her, always after a good time, not doing the ironing because it might give her varicose veins, drinking, perhaps even using lipstick, making apple cider.

A real female back-slider, like those Dissidents, or Dizzy-Dents as I call them, at www.catholica.com.au, where they are not building Jerusalem, but Jonestown!

I note some of you men here today smiling at the Archbishop's anatomical references, in particular to the old, barren womb.

I have asked Mr Fergal O'Dobbin of Sony Homily Recordings to check out the accuracy and I shall send the tape to Rome with a commentary.

Men, do not think you are going to escape God's Wrath just because you are Male!

Sure, you do not have an old, barren, womb.

But you do have an old barren PROSTATE!

There's something to worry about, and do not think going to some pagan greenie herbalist will enable you to escape God's ANGER, His Wrath!

Nosireebob.

What's going on down there? The God of Wrath is the only one who knows.

May the Wrath be with you!


Fr FarzenheimFr Farzenheim is another of our regular visitors to Catholica Australia venting his anger on the Novus Ordo Church. Resident in the Archdiocese of Sydney, Fr Farzenheim is a great fan of the reform of the reforms that Cardinal Pell has endeavoured to introduce in his diocese but he just doesn't believe they go half-way far enough. Half the time he thinks the Cardinal is a bit of a pinko. He is a member of the Fathers of Divine Wrath religious order based in Chicago who have recently been invited to Sydney to help address the priest shortage here and the slackness being exhibited by all the "cafeteria Catholics" and "backsliders" in the Australian Church. He does support the Cardinal's call for this "confusing teaching" on Primacy of Conscience to be abolished from the Catechism and all Catholic teaching.


Fr Farzenheim welcomes your questions on all matters of Catholic doctrine provided they are addressed to him in reverential tones beginning "Dear Fr Farzenheim". He will not answer any questions when he is addressed by his Christian name. He is still deciding if we can be trusted enough to even know his Christian name and might disclose that in a later column down the track. You are most welcome to address your questions to him through our forum.

©2006 Clifford Baxter

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