How to Care for the Priest's Dog...

Considerable resentment has been caused in many a presbytery through failure of the housekeeper to realize the true status of canine and feline occupants.

To prevent this it is necessary to have attended some of Father's little talks on the Aristotleian Hierarchical Nature of the Divine Order, which may be briefly summarized thus:

God
Angels
Humankind
Dogs
Cats
Housekeepers
Others

Between the third and the above there is what is known a hyperdulia – super worship.

The lesser beings in the hierarchy engage in what is known as dulia, or devotion.

This is known as the Hierarchy of Being.

Now, I am aware that some housekeepers have been a source of ruction and discontent, when the dog has been moved from the glassed-in verandah to Father's celibate domicile where it may enjoy tidbits of smoked ham and other delicacies.

The movement of the heater and air conditioner indoors has also been a source of friction.

Leaving the housekeeper with the blanket and a carton of Pal can be a hurtful moment for the most devoted of housekeepers.

Remember, however, the importance of Dulia, devotion.

It is not for you to question the rightness of the situation.

Look at the joy Father exhibits when Spot or Spotina leaps upon his bed.

Remember he has made for the Lord The Supreme and Utter Sacrifice of CELIBACY.

I know that the devotion of the dog has caused some friction in some presbyteries.

Indeed one housekeeper called Father's Canine Companion, 'The Other Woman'.

Similarly with cats.

I have found that sharing a tin of Kitty Kat Salmon can break down the barriers.

Also a canine or feline companion can be very comforting during the Sacred Task of Ironing The Priest's Shirt.

Molly Arbeit is ready to give tips to housekeepers in the Vineyard of the Lord. Molly has been a housekeeper to priests, bishops and even cardinals since about the time Adam was a little boy and knows more about the in and outs of clerical politics and good manners than even Ratz does.

Molly welcomes your pearls of wisdom, and just plain good old housekeeperly tips, in our discussion forum and she always welcomes your questions and feedback.

©2006 Clifford Baxter

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