So mebbe de Universe start wiv da big farte?

In de classe at Parra Pubic High de masta had de tube o glass wiv some gasse derein. Yassirreeebob.

I creepin, creepin creepin ahind de man wiv de matche.

Sah, sez me. Sah, what dis gasse dere? It smellin like fra de arziz.

Sah e he say ta me, dis am de hydrogen suphide, de rotten hegg hasse.

Now as yez all know I is called de Suicide Boomer coz ob de time I go boom boom behind de Imam and he kickim me in de arziz.

So in de classe I get de matche and light de test toobe ob de masta.

BOOOOOOOOOOM!

De masta got no highbrows.

De classe got no winders.

Dat hydrogen suphide great stuffe.

So mebbe de Universe start wiv big farte?

Is dat true, sirereebobwhoitmayconcernsirmadame?

Dis Briggsy man ask me: "But you have not explained where the sulphur came from. I have an idea – did it perhaps come from 'The Burning Pit'?"

I say to Briggsy man...

Supher different. Yessireebob, true dat! It big time!

Me supher big time when me build de supheric rockit at Parra Pubic High.

Suphur soooo hard to burn ef yo is not de Deville !

But when it go whooooooshe, me running, runnin, runnin and de childers screamin, screamin, screamin, an de schoole burning, burnin, burnin

An de pleeece comin, comin, comin.

Hayzie Ho comin too ta investigatte dat rocket.

So me thinkin ef de Cosmick farte had dat suphur in de forrmulla, it big bang farte.

yessirreeebobtruedatsirmadamewhoitmayconcern.

Ishy (not Ishie cordin to de Spelchekke)

Ishmihail bin Laden (Ishy) is originally from Afghanistan. He arrived in Australia about 120 years ago during one of the early gold rushes and made a living driving his camel team through the outback. He retired about forty years ago to Parramatta and has been continuing his quest to understand both Christian and Australian culture ever since — as well as the mystery of the spelchekke and how the world began!

Ishy welcomes your clarifications of Christianity, Australian culture and how the world began in our discussion forum and he always welcomes your questions and feedback.

©2006 Clifford Baxter

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