Beefing up the testosterone levels among the boys...

To: All Players
From: Biffin O'Toole, Coach
Re: Well done, blokes!

Your senior defeat of those pansies from the North Shore 37-0 will go down in footy history.

Hearing you blokes cry, 'Another biff for Biffie', will be a memory I'll carry in my scone till the day they admit me to Saint Pathetica's Retirement Village for Coaches.

I know all parents will join in, rally round the Hibernian flag and dig deep into the pockets to pay for the Damages.

The replacement of the Grandstand, payment of the Fire Brigade and Ambulance, and settlement of the law suit from the North Shore Coach for psychological damage is not beyond our means.

It's all part of the rich process of turning Boys into Men!

There's got to be some collateral damage!
The loss of three of our boys during the School Army Cadet exercise, 'Operation Opera House Storm', is another example of Manhood Comes at a Price.

If that price is too high, then I suggest you take your 'sensitive', 'artistic', 'exotic' little chap to some liberal, airy-fairy place of learning.

I am not saying that we do not make mistakes.

The tying of the referee to the goalposts, lighting of a fire under him for a Red Indian War Dance was regrettable — a bridge too far.

The post-match punch-up between Father Farzenheim and the Liberation Theologian was understandable, but also a matter of regret. Thanks to the intervention of Sister Feralia, who is so skilled in first aid and counseling, all is now well and no charges will be laid with police.

I am grateful that the parental storming of the buses and the incidents at the local pub have not made the evening news.

I should liked to have joined the boys after the match for the Victory Golden Shower, but as you are aware, current legislation forbids this.

I have received the news that Sister Feralia has organized a sisterhood footy team, but I a little disturbed that in several trial games it has defeated our male side.

Then again, tough people for tough times! We are playing tough football, not touch footy.

We welcome your thoughts in response in our forum.

©2006Cliff Baxter

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