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 Earlier
this year Cindy had a major disaster when one fine day her computer stopped
functioning when she was in the middle of writing an email. It took some
seconds before she realized this was a terminal illness and nothing could
be done to save the poor computer heading direct for computer heaven —
do not pass GO and do not collect $200.
Cindy remembered receiving a mysterious email from a friend she did not
regularly correspond with. However being from someone she knew she opened
it. Mistake Number One. It was supposed to contain photographs from the
friend but was a bit strange so Cindy just pressed the 'delete' button.
For the following few days the computer did a couple of strange things
before coming to a total stop. It appears the friend had a virus in her
computer files and she was unaware of the problem. While she slept, her
computer did its own little thing and emailed the virus to everyone in
her address list. How naughty can a toy become?
All efforts were made by the professionals to retrieve memory, but only
a few things were saved. Silly Cindy for not backing up all her writings
on spare disks. So this was one of the disasters in Cindy's life during
2006. The Big Computer Nightmare. New bits and pieces were purchased to
restructure the poor thing back into working order. But it was never the
same. Cindy would try and retrieve something only to find it was lost
forever in cyber space.
So one of the big learning experiences for Cindy this year has been "a
computer is only pieces of scrap metal stuck together with screws and
blue tack". She has learned to not trust a piece of metal with her
deepest secrets ever again. A computer is likely to chew them up in the
flick of an eyelid. When your information is gone — it is gone. That is
it. Salvage rarely possible. If you haven't backed up then you are a silly
goose.
How often do you hear someone say they had just finished typing a long
email or an interesting post and when they went to that little old send
button — woops, all that writing just disappeared? The frustration usually
leads to a string of not very nice expletives and if the problem gets
any worse the language is likely to become even more colourful. Cindy's
family dive for cover when things are not going well on the computer.
So Cindy now looks upon her computer as nothing more than a sophisticated
toy. It might run on electricity rather than expensive batteries, but
it is just as likely to stop as a remote control car being guided around
the room.
To put it simply "You cannot trust computers".
Computers are trained to do things automatically. Ever tried lining up
a column with numbers at the beginning and suddenly the whole thing begins
to be indented and line spacings appear in places where you did not want
them. A scream of frustration brings the family running, thinking you
have cut off a finger or something making a banana sandwich — instead
it is because the naughty computer will not do what you are trying to
tell it to do.
"Why don't you read the manual Mum?" suggests one of
Cindy's children.
"Because it is 3 inches thick and I don't know where to find
the information I want and if I did I cannot understand gobbldegok, so
what is the point" Cindy retorts, nostrils begging to flare.
Cindy's message for this week...
So there it is. Cindy's message for this week is to tell you that computers
may have become an important part of all our lives — particularly those
of us who love chatting to friends on MSN, sending and receiving emails,
playing games, writing posts etc. BUT, they are not infallible — in fact
they are unreliable and as human as some of the stuff we program into
them.
 Cindy
wonders what God thinks about so many women having surgery for breast
enlargements, and why all that spam about penis enlargements? Are we living
in a world obsessed with the size and shape of our private bits? As a
female Cindy does not need dozens of spam each day offering her discount
Viagra and extra length. If she had a penis she would have been a priest
anyway, and then as a celibate person size and length of the penis would
have been of no importance — as long as those dangly bits were in
fine working order and a vow was made to never use them for any other
purpose than to pee, all would be well. So GO AWAY SPAMMERS and
HACKERS, get a real job and lift your eyes above your belly buttons
for goodness sakes.
It might bid us all well to think about the fact that God is the only
completely reliable reality in our lives. Unlike a computer, God does
not have whims of fancy and cause havoc for us as our favourite toy is
able to do at any time.
Cindy says to not get stressed about Christmas. It is meant to be a time
of peace and joy, sharing and family. If you have dozens of people coming
to your place for lunch on Christmas Day, tell them to bring the food.
After all it might take you weeks to clean up the house in readiness for
this onslaught of Christian hospitality. Why do we do it? How much simpler
Christmas would be for everyone if we cut out gifts for everyone over
the age of ten? There would be time for conversations rather than the
bustle of grappling with overcrowded car parks as we rack our brains with
what to buy people for gifts. Our houses are mostly overloaded with 'stuff'
anyway. Cindy says "Get over it". Make a change for your family
and just maintain the customs that really matter. Only the shops will
suffer financially — what a racket they have built up in our minds eh?
They spend thousands on advertising urging people to push their credit
cards over the top. Why? Think about it.
With Advent racing along and Fr Cunning's farewell coming up this weekend
it has been a busy time for Cindy and the other sacristans. May God have
mercy on us all.
Cindy
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Cindy the Sacristan is the pseudonym of one of the long-time members of our community. In real life she has spent many years in a voluntary capacity as sacristan in a large outer suburban parish. |
We welcome your thoughts in response to this column in our forum.
[Index of Commentaries by Cindy the Sacristan]
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