Stories and Photographs...

Cindy was deeply moved this week by 'Kate's Take' about the importance of telling our stories. She was also moved by a post from Alex saying how uplifted he feels when helping in a soup kitchen and Mother Teresa had nothing but her faith yet affected the entire world.

This weekend was very busy at St Michael's as they had their yearly fete, a huge production if ever there was one. Tens of thousands of dollars was raised to help reduce the very large parish debt. Interestingly it was held on a Sunday. It seems a strange day to have a fete and Cindy could not help but think of the story of Jesus and the money-changer's tables in the temple on the Sabbath.

The telling of stories has Cindy thinking about all the funerals she has attended at St Michael's over her years of involvement as sacristan. She has heard dozens of eulogies. Some were excellent and beautifully presented. Others were a mish mash of unconnected thoughts durged out amidst hundreds of 'um's' and painfully taking up to as long as fifty minutes.

A good eulogy is no longer than five minutes. In fact the best one Cindy has heard was shorter than that. The eulogist simply said each letter of the alphabet and gave one word beginning with that letter to describe the deceased. The letter Z was for 'zees' the sleep of eternal peace. Not knowing the deceased personally, Cindy learned so much about the person, both their talents and their idiosyncrasies. Pathos and humour were interwoven. People laughed because just one word evoked in their memories stories of their loved one. Language and words are powerful mind tools.

Honouring the elderly...

About six years ago, Australia celebrated The Year of the Elderly. St Michael's wanted to do something special and it was decided to photograph all the senior members in the community. Cindy and her husband were asked to take the photographs. Some of the older people were not happy with the title of 'elderly' and eventually Fr Cunning had to make a decision as to what age was considered elderly!! Some people said the parish only wanted the photos so they would be ready for the cover of their funeral booklets!

A couple of hundred photographs were taken and they were all displayed on the parish notice board with names attached. It was a very worthwhile project as many people who had nodded to each other for years did not actually know each other's names!

Cindy gave each person a copy of their photograph. Two heart wrenching moments ensured. The first was from one of the most well known older parish couples, saying they had never had a photograph taken together. It seemed incredible. They had raised five children, but film and developing did not find a place in their budget.

A quiet Polish lady was also in tears when given her personal copy to keep. In her entire life she had never been photographed and had only seen a reflection of herself in a mirror. She wanted to send the photo to relatives still in Poland. She had not been there since she came to Australia as child. Cindy arranged extra copies for her. There were other touching stories and Cindy realized the value of photographs.

Since that time, Cindy has produced a parish recipe book. Along with the recipes she wrote a short story about each of the contributors, often with a history of the recipe having been passed down through family generations.

In fact Cindy has long held a dream to write a book about women and their experiences through life as Catholic Women. She came to a point where it was just too painful to hear the pain of other women and she wondered about the value of recording those stories.

Cindy wonders now whether in fact it would be more valuable to record the life stories of some of the parish people — those who would be willing to share their story. Often one only learns about a person's rich and colourful life when their coffin is resting in resplendent glory in front of the altar at the funeral.

Nursing Homes now ask relatives to write a short story about the life of their loved one. Having worked for some time as a nurse in one of these places, Cindy knows how reading a person's life history helps with the nursing care of a person. She remembers a particularly difficult old man who tested her patience to the enth degree — until she read about his years during the war in a concentration camp.

The nurses who cared for Cindy's Mum, Violet, in her last few years were touched by her story. She had been the second youngest of 8 children and her Dad died when she was 3 and her mother died of grief a year later. Violet was then only 4 years of age. This mother was pregnant when her husband passed away and she gave birth a few months later. It was 1919 and a plague killed many good people that year. Walk through any old cemetery and check out the dates. So Cindy grew up with a Mum who hated Mother's Days because it reminded her of all the painful years of her childhood — without a Mum. It was only in the last few months of Violet's life, that Cindy learned her mother had a difficult time because of her older brothers and no Mum to protect her. Cindy grieved that her Mum had kept these secrets for so long, but it helped Cindy and her sister understand many things about their mother's behaviour over the years. Sad, sad, sad.

There is now a book available at some newsagents for assistance in writing your life story. It is divided into chapters with questions about different times of life. You only need to fill in the blanks. For people who have limited writing skills, this is an excellent way of recording your story to be handed down through future generations. In fact — what an excellent idea for a Christmas gift. Even if we have to assist the person filling in the blanks by doing the physical writing for them, imagine the stories they may tell as we sit with them, guiding them through the book.

No gift is more valuable than our time. Giving of it to another is a rich blessing for each person. Where two or three are gathered in my name — Jesus said that!!!!

Cindy also finds that many memories of the various chapters of our lives are evoked through music. Certain songs hold highly significant memories for us. Strangely too, even aromas can evoke memories of people we have known, places we have lived etc.

LISTENING is a skill, yet it is very simple really. Shut up and just concentrate on what the other person is saying. Maybe Cindy will elaborate on this skill another time. Meanwhile we only have snippets of the Life of Jesus in the New Testament, yet we know his personality, his beliefs, his wisdom, his care and love for all people.

Remember the joke about God being on the TV show 'This is Your Life'?
He was handed a copy of the Bible.

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Cindy the Sacristan is the pseudonym of one of the long-time members of our community. In real life she has spent many years in a voluntary capacity as sacristan in a large outer suburban parish.

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